Migration does not start at borders, where world leaders want to build walls or where they turn away boats full of migrants. Migration often begins with decisions made in family kitchens.
It is the result of day-to-day hardships, some made more challenging by outside forces including climate change and foreign trade agreements that destroy local farmers’ livelihoods. For many families, migration is their only option.
Most often, it is the men who leave and the women who are left behind. One of the biggest challenges they face is the education of the children. Too often young boys drop out of school and then migrate themselves. Women who stay must also make more decisions about community issues. This might make them more independent and confident, but also more stressed.
We created Women Who Stay to tell the stories of those who remain at home as family members migrate. It presents a more complex view of migration, giving voice to those who are left behind. In these photos, we focus on rural Mexico, where millions of families live without close family members for years.
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Noel Rojo
“When Eulestino migrated to the United States for the first time, I stayed in the house of my parents-in-law; they helped me a lot. When he left for the second time, we were living in our own house that he built thanks to migration. It was worth it, but it was also too much responsibility for me when I stayed alone with three children. For example, we do not have water in our house, so I always had to search for men who would bring it from a common well. There were times when I could not go on anymore.” —Elvia, La Herradura, San Luis Potosí
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Noel Rojo
“My husband migrated to the United States when my son was fourteen. My son became very rebellious after his father left and he would not listen to me here. He did not even finish middle school. Instead he decided to follow his dad. My husband returned shortly after, but our son stayed until he got deported. He tried his luck again and he is there now, again illegally. He has a wife and twins in the U.S. that I have never seen in person as he cannot come back at any time. This is also the reason why I would love to go there.”—Elvia, La Herradura, San Luis Potosí
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Noel Rojo
“Out of the ten years that we have been married, we spent at least half of the time separated, my husband has been in the U.S. various times. The last time, he came with the idea to cross the border again. He wanted to finish the construction of our house, for our kids to have their own rooms. I told him not to, as it is difficult for me to stay alone. But I also could not forbid him from going. He left on a Monday and the following Saturday called to say he was safe on the other side of the border. It was relieving to receive the news, but at the same time it is always a bad feeling to not know how long he will stay there for, how long you will be suffering alone.”—Raquel, Zacayo, San Luis Potosí
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Noel Rojos
"Many things change when he leaves, including the education of our kids. If I shout at them when they are disobedient, they say I do not love them and neither does their father, otherwise he would be here. They do not even talk to him anymore, especially the youngest son Jack refuses to chat on the phone. Maybe it is better this way, he used to cry a lot after their phone calls. One thing for sure, if your husband migrates, you need to show more love to your kids; I have become both, a mother and a father.”—Raquel, Zacayo, San Luis Potosí
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Noel Rojo
“I never wanted to go to the U.S. I love my work here. My clay pieces are more precious to me than gold. You cannot eat gold but you can eat from a clay plate. Thank God I can do my work, and thank God for my husband as well. He has been taking care of us for more than twenty years now. Thanks to him, we have a decent life.”—Amalia, San Marcos Tlapazola, Oaxaca
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Noel Rojo
“Sometimes when he comes back, he stays for a year or two, but then he leaves again. He says he is doing this for all his family, not only for me and my son, but also for his parents, sisters, and brothers. But, he has already made his dream come true, the house upstairs is his. Well, I also wanted the house, but now I want him back. However, there are women who have never heard from their husbands again, I know such cases. I also worry that he will get used to the life in the U.S. and never come back, that he might forget his family.”—Amalia, San Marcos Tlapazola, Oaxaca