August 2005
Bush appointed John Bolton to be Ambassador to the United Nations in a maneuver that sidesteps Senate approval. If you ask me, the guy should have been disqualified just on the basis of his mustache.
August 31, 2005
Wouldn’t it be great if there were National Guard units available to deploy in the Hurricane Katrina aftermath? Where are those guys anyway?
August 30, 2005
The only winner Hurricane Katrina has annointed is George Bush. Because for the first time in three weeks, nobody’s paying any attention to Cindy Sheehan.
August 29, 2005
Wonder how long it will take Karl Rove to blame Al Qaeda for Katrina and say, “Sounds Arabic to me.”
August 26, 2005
Intelligent Design is just creationism with aluminum siding on it.
August 25, 2005
You got to feel sorry for poor Pat Robertson. This guy has put his foot in his mouth so many times in the last week, he’s probably learned how to floss with his shoelaces. Robertson denied saying he said Chavez should be assassinated (uh, you did), telling his audience that maybe what he meant to say was Chavez should only be kidnapped a little. Robertson's hold on reality is about as tenuous as a room deposit for Courtney Love’s 5th anniversary sobriety party. We can’t expect him to lose his television show, but one can only hope his invitations to the Lincoln Bedroom have been assassinated. Or at least kidnapped.
August 24, 2005
You could say the new Iraqi Constitution is going to be a bit short on rights for women. You could also say the Arctic in January is brisk.
August 23, 2005
Hunter S. Thompson’s ashes were exploded in fireworks canisters over the night sky of Woody Creek last weekend. One last time he was able to shine a light in the darkness. Darkness reigns again.
August 22, 2005
The heat on Cindy Sheehan is being turned up so high, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear her accused of selfishly attempting to horde the honor of being a Gold Star Mother all to herself.
August 19, 2005
A new US Forest Service assessment has dropped the recreational value of our national forests from $111 billion to $11 billion, a move expected either to be used as a pretext to increase logging or start planting marijuana, I forget which.
August 18, 2005
With gas over three bucks a gallon in some places, I wouldn’t be surprised to see SUV owners join the protests outside Bush’s ranch.
August 17, 2005
Fox News says Cindy Sheehan has become a tool of the left. Imagine that: Fox News calling someone else a political tool.
August 16, 2005
The Right Wing Smear Machine is on full spin. Cindy Sheehan has been accused of everything from unpaid parking tickets to the ultimate conservative sin: association with Michael Moore.
August 15, 2005
Cindy Sheehan, 48 year old gold star mother from Vacaville California, is camped next to George Bush’s ranch in Crawford, Texas. She intends to remain there until the President tells her exactly what noble cause her son died for. And she doesn’t want to hear “Operation 2 bucks a gallon.”
August 12, 2005
President Bush signed a law extending daylight savings time by four weeks. This time change will affect everyone except the White House, where it will remain September 11, 2001, until January 21, 2009.
August 11, 2005
President Bush said his energy bill, which includes billions of dollars of tax breaks and subsidies to oil companies and energy producers, helps wean Americans off imported oil. Which is like saving the hens by granting the foxes All Access Coop Passes.
August 10, 2005
After posting more than 4,000 comments on a white supremacist bulletin board, a Republican candidate for the Charlotte, North Carolina, city council dropped out of the race. Of course, if Rove had been caught doing this, he would have called it massaging Bush’s base.
August 9, 2005
The President may be the only human on face of the planet who considers August in Crawford, Texas, a vacation spot. The temperature down there’s been shaking hands with triple digit dew points his entire stay. So we may be talking brain fry here, which just might explain a lot.
August 8, 2005
A Southwest Airlines flight from Dallas to Corpus Christi was forced to land in Houston over the weekend after a written threat was found on board. Bomb-sniffing dogs found no evidence of explosives but for the sake of precaution a 35 mm copy of “The Dukes of Hazzard” was escorted off the plane and exploded in a bunker under the supervision of Homeland Security.
August 5, 2005
George Bush is well into his first week of his five-week vacation. Five weeks? The only people who get five weeks vacation are German trade unionists, Parisian waiters, and Santa Claus—and the last two are fictional.
August 4, 2005
President Bush informed reporters this week that he doesn't believe in evolution, and ironically he is his own best argument. I think a review of White House policies may be exactly what Creationists have been looking for to prove that Darwin was wrong.
August 3, 2005
Bush is on vacation again, and one thing you can’t say about the 43rd President of the United States is the man needs some sleep. He looks very well rested, and I’m thinking for good reason. To say George Bush is not a workaholic is to say Nebraska is not known for its suspension bridges.
August 2, 2005
Apparently, Bush’s appointment to the Supreme Court, John Roberts is a total blank slate, having a history of holding no opinions on anything, ever, at all, including “paper or plastic.”
August 1, 2005
Bush appointed John Bolton to be Ambassador to the United Nations in a maneuver that sidesteps Senate approval. If you ask me, the guy should have been disqualified just on the basis of his mustache.