claimaccident via Pixabay
Before it was repealed, I had carefully studied the infamous North Carolina public bathroom law, looking for loopholes through which I could beat the system. I figured the law would contain a list of “legitimate” reasons why we must on occasion let people use bathrooms of their own choosing.
And, sure enough, there were exceptions. The law said it was okay for anyone one to enter any public bathroom for “custodial” or “inspection” purposes or to “render medical assistance.” So I guess that meant that if an openly transgender janitor, plumber, or paramedic showed up on official business, they had to be granted bathroom access.
Another exception was to assist a disabled person, like me. I took that to mean that a person born female could accompany me into any bathroom by saying that I needed assistance.Assisting a disabled person trumps being transgender in North Carolina.
And thus, I think it logically follows that if you are both disabled and transgender, you could under this law legally enter a bathroom designated for those of a different biological gender if your assistant was of that different biological gender. In this case, the disabled part of you supercedes the transgender part of you. Now, if you were a transgender disabled person requiring the bathroom assistance of another transgender nondisabled person, I’m not sure what would happen.
I think the world would just explode.
But that’s all moot now because HB 2 was recently repealed and its replacement contains none of the above loopholes. The new law says only that all governmental bodies except the General Assembly are “preempted from regulation of access to multiple occupancy restrooms . . . .”
I think the state legislature, in its infinite wisdom, surmised that carving out so many gray areas created an enforcement nightmare. The original law was too susceptible to sabotage by impersonation because it relied so heavily on the honor system. Any diabolical transgender person could circumvent the original law by dressing up like a paramedic and recruiting a bleeding-heart ally to go into a public bathroom and fake a heart attack. And what was to stop someone like me from pretending I needed assistance from my transgender companion, even if I didn’t? Worse yet, a transgender person might get into a wheelchair and pretend to be a disabled person requiring bathroom assistance.
All this would make a mockery of God’s divine plan for public bathroom access. So there’s been a crackdown. From now on, it seems, only the state legislature can grant potty waivers.
I wasn’t planning to go to North Carolina anytime soon. But if I must, I’ll have to make sure my assistant is 100 percent biologically male, with the birth certificate to prove it. Either that or, just to be safe, I’ll only go to towns that are near the border so I can easily cross state lines whenever I have to pee.