Safety First
Tennessee officials just barred citizens from carrying homemade signs in the state legislature, where they are allowed to bring loaded guns. Lawmakers said the use of hand-held signs and signs on sticks “represent a serious safety hazard.”
And His Greatest Fault Is Undue Modesty
President Donald Trump, defending himself against accumulating evidence that he isn’t the sharpest bulb in the deck: “Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.”
The Seven Words You Can’t Say . . .
Senior budget officials at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention were advised to avoid using seven words in documents that would be circulated within the federal government and Congress. The words: “diversity,” “entitlement,” “fetus,” “transgender,” “vulnerable,” “evidence-based,” and “science-based.”
Fear Itself
Recent mass shootings have been good for gun sales. On the day after Thanksgiving, the FBI recorded 203,086 gun-purchase background check requests, the highest-ever single-day total. The Washington Postspeculated the surge was driven by “people who fear someone from the government may knock on their door someday and confiscate their guns.” A few days later, the House passed a bill to make it easier for people to carry concealed guns in states other than their own.
Military Engorgement
Two U.S. Navy pilots were disciplined for using aircraft contrails to draw a giant phallus in the sky over Washington State. “Sophomoric and immature antics of a sexual nature have no place in Naval aviation today,” declared Vice Admiral Mike Shoemaker, commander of Naval Air Forces.
He’s an Inspiration!
A review by Politico found that prominent government officials or state media in at least fifteen nations have begun using President Trump’s term “fake news” to rebuff criticism from the media and others. The term has found favor among despots including Syrian President Bashar al-Assad and Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte, and the website of the Russian foreign ministry
Trump’s Secret Renewable Energy Plan?
A team of Irish scientists has discovered a way to make electricity from tears. The breakthrough in what is known as piezoelectricity is predicted to have “innovative applications.”
ILLUSTRATIONS BY STUART GOLDENBERG
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