After nearly two years of Donald Trump’s presidency—the SCOTUS nominations, the ethics infractions, the #MeToo movement, and dickishly abandoned umbrellas—one thing has become increasingly clear: There is a huge difference between men and women when it comes to what they think they can get away with.
Men, it seems, try to get away with sexual assault or environmental abuse or financial crimes. But, by and large, the scenario in which women try to get away with something involves . . . a breakfast buffet.
“Can I really get away with a third plate?” you’ll hear Ruth Bader Ginsburg say. While Trump wonders whether he could defraud the government of $418 million of taxable income, Kirsten Gillibrand is probably asking her BFF if she might “get away with wearing this skirt without Spanx?”
Ladies, we need to up our game on what we can get away with. We are being ridiculously outdone.
Some of the things that men try to get away with make absolutely no sense. Take former EPA head Scott Pruitt for example. He used private planes and military jets instead of flying commercial. That’s BOLD! But the question is: why? Commercial flights would have gotten him to the same place without raising any red flags. I think it’s because . . . he thought he could get away with it. Bold and self-serving behavior by a dude with a history of bold and self-serving behavior.
Pruitt even had his security detail drive him around to find a lotion he liked from the Ritz-Carlton and he had other staffers track down used mattresses from the Trump International Hotel. While I appreciate a man who has a skin care regimen and is serious about lumbar support, getting away with these strangely prosaic items seems patently dumb.
Pruitt had such a long career of being a sketchy dude—he got away with so much—that, at a certain point, he decided to get away with even small-bore violations.
Pruitt had such a long career of being a sketchy dude—he got away with so much—that, at a certain point, he decided to get away with even small-bore violations, even if they made no sense. He did it because he could and because every time he applied his Ritz-Carlton lotion, he envied his own power. That’s something women have never learned to do.
While Pruitt was getting away with the mundane and, let’s not forget, effectively taking a huge dump on the environment, Elizabeth Warren got dinged for merely and neverthelessly “persisting.” Persisting was considered a bit much for what a woman could get away with. Her persisting was so surprising, it ended up on statement tees!
And when you look at people like ye olde President Donald Trump, the corruption-to-achievement record is pretty remarkable. Donny is accused of sexual assault. He’s an open racist. He violates government ethics on the daily. He has never shown us his tax returns. He’s even an unindicted co-conspirator. AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON HIS ATROCITIES AGAINST SYNTAX!
And yet, he’s President of the United States. He has gotten away with everything.
With the exception of sexual assault, the problem with everything else these men try to get away with is that they are often white-collar crimes. And white-collar crimes don’t incite the same type of emotion; they don’t trigger visceral public outrage. Getting away with white-collar crimes is rewarded. The brazenness of it is admired.
We need to start looking at these breaches not as white-collar crimes but as crime-crimes. Because they are crime-crimes. The average American pays his or her taxes, why shouldn’t the President? If he was out on the streets mugging people, he’d be arrested and convicted. But because he’s in the Oval Office mugging “the People” (through sophisticated loopholes, deception, and lies), he gets away with it.
Meanwhile, women tend to think about the team, think about the community. For them, putting self-interest, comfort, and convenience above social good doesn’t come naturally. I’m glad it doesn’t. But what I propose to all the women out there, is to take a page out of the dude book, specifically the arrogance with which men actualize their goals.
So, let’s try to get away with justice. Let’s try to get away with environmental regulation and expanded voting rights and equal pay for equal work. And yes, let’s get away with wearing that skirt without Spanx.