Negroponte, The Pope's iPod, and more

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"Why would I believe him? This administration, including the president, (has) mischaracterized this war for the last two years."

Rep. Jack Murtha responds to Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Marine Gen. Peter Pace's statement that everything in Iraq is "going very, very well."

"I'm firmly convinced now, after all this time, that it really is a civil war. You keep hoping for the best. And then after a while you say, wait a minute, this isn't working. This isn't working."

Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA)

Quotable

"$300 Million - That's Almost $150 Million Per Book"

Jay Leno on the George W. Bush Presidential Library

Stopping terrorists does not prevent Negroponte from allegedly enjoying a good vacation... even if he's not technically on vacation

The day a freshly steamed and massaged Director of National Intelligence can't find time to enjoy a stogie is the day we know terrorists have won.

“In many a workday lunchtime, the nominal boss of U.S. intelligence, John D. Negroponte, can be found at a private club in downtown Washington, getting a massage, taking a swim, and having lunch, followed by a good cigar and a perusal of the daily papers in the club’s library. 'He spends three hours there [every] Monday through Friday,' gripes a senior counter terrorism official, noting that the former ambassador has a security detail sitting outside all that time in chase cars. Others say they’ve seen the Director of National Intelligence at the University Club, a 100-year-old mansion-like redoubt of dark oak panels and high ceilings a few blocks from the White House, only 'several' times a week.” Source: cq.com

Student paper prints offensive cartoon

The editor of the University of Saskatchewan student newspaper resigned after his publication printed a cartoon depicting Jesus performing oral sex on a pig. For some reason, this cartoon seems to offend people.

“The newspaper is issuing a mea culpa after a cartoon depicting Jesus performing a sex act on a capitalist pig was published in Thursday's edition of the Sheaf. 'The comic was actually laid out and went to print as a result of an editorial oversight and a mistake,' production manager Liam Richards said Monday. 'It was not our intention to have a (public) reaction to it.' The cartoon ran a week after the student-funded newspaper ran a four-page spread discussing the controversial Danish cartoons picturing the Prophet Muhammad, which have incited rioting and violence by Muslim extremists around the globe.” Source: starpheonix.com

The Pope gets an iPod

Now we know why there's was so much drama surrounding the selection of the Pope. The prizes are fabulous!

“For the record, Benny's iPod is engraved 'To His Holiness, Benedict XVI' in Italian, and also contains 'an English-language radio drama on the life of St. Thomas A Becket and a 10 minute feature on the creation of Vatican Radio, with original sound clips of the inventor of the radio, Guglielmo Marconi, and Vatican Radio's founder, Pope Pius XI.' " Source: theregister.co.uk

A quick poll of the staff came up with some song suggestions, "Jesus Saves" by Kanye West, "Like A Prayer" by Madonna, and, for those long treadmill workouts in the Vatican gym, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band.

A guy who controls a huge economy and a big army can't get the hang of a device that has only one button

Not sure which is scarier, the fact that Tony Blair can't operate an iPod or the fact that it contains a Christina Aguilera song.

“My daughter does all the songs, I'm not very good with the technology, I'm not very good with any aspect of it." Source: theregister.co.uk

Bush gets a drubbing in carnivals in the world

Writer and photographer Skip Kaltenheuser documents political expression in carnivals around the world including "Bushlandia," a spectacular 5-story float in Torres Vedras, Portugal.

“Last week's focus on whether Bacchus's glass at Mardi Gras was half full or half empty may have been a break for the Bush Administration. Media took the path of least resistance and parroted the promo "A Party Like No Other." Baloney. It's a carnival world and has been since the ancients. Carnivals abroad have become a glorious bellwether of how US policies and actions are viewed. The Administration is fortunate Americans are woefully ignorant of these portrayals. Ridicule is far more devastating than lemmings chanting 'death to Bush' during a drive-by in south-east Asia." Source: thewashingtonnote.com

Orlando retirement community earns Guinness record for largest golf cart parade

“Official word came Friday that The Villages set the only Guinness World Record held by a retirement community. The September charity event nearly tripled the efforts of the previous group of retirees to orchestrate The World's Largest Golf Cart parade. The 3,321 carts winding through the paths of The Villages in the fall is a meager showing for the 57,000 retirees who travel mainly by golf cart in the sprawling community." Source: orlandosentinal.com

Records overlooked by Guinness include the largest simultaneous use of unnecessary left turn signals, plaid pants, and wrap-around sunglasses.

Which country do you belong in?

Take a short quiz and figure out which country you belong. Turns out some of the hate mail we used to get is way off. We don't belong in Russia after all. Take the quiz at youthink.com

Tennessee Mayor refuses to accept check with the words "speed trap" in the memo line

Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane were unavailable for comment.

“The TBI is investigating Coopertown Mayor Danny Crosby's actions in blocking a motorist from exercising his right to pay a speeding ticket. The motorist, T. Allen Morgan of Nashville, attempted to pay a traffic fine with a check. On the check, he wrote 'for speed trap' in bold letters, with stars drawn out around the words. Crosby refused the check, insisting that Morgan appear to face the charges in traffic court, or write another check without the words 'speed trap' on it. Crosby has been at the center of a controversy over speed limits and traffic enforcement in his town, which gets almost a third of its budget from traffic fines." Source: tennessean.com

Church to host free "Porn Weekend"

If you live in Clermont, Florida and are looking for something to do this weekend Clermont Fellowship Church will present a series of speakers and workshops relating to pornography in a local high gymnasium. The festivities will include a screening of a film entitled "Missionary Positions."

“The Church talks about a lot of things. Love. Forgiveness. Peace. It’s time the church talks about porn. Clermont Fellowship Church hopes Porn Weekend will raise awareness about the issues surrounding pornography and bring healing and recovery to those struggling with it." Source: clermontfc.com

Testing company screws up SAT scores

Don't worry. Kids whose futures are potentially altered will get a complete refund. It's only fair.

“The College Board, which owns the exam, notified college admissions offices of the mistake and provided the proper scores for affected students in a letter received by some Tuesday afternoon. A College Board spokeswoman, Jennifer Topiel, said students would be notified by e-mail Thursday. Affected students will be refunded their fees from that sitting, the letter said." Source: ap.org

Female Homecoming King

Is Hood College ready for a female homecoming king?

“Jennifer Jones, the 21-year-old senior who beat out three men for the honor, said the crowning was a positive step for the private liberal arts college. 'It is cool that Hood allows people to be themselves,' Jones told The Frederick News-Post. 'If people didn't want me to be king, they wouldn't have nominated me and voted for me.' Jones, of Newark, Del., received 64 of 169 votes cast for king last month. More than two weeks after Jones was crowned, criticism and praise were still rippling through the 2,100-student campus in western Maryland." Source: ap.org

Pat Robertson kicked off board of directors of the National Religious Broadcasters Association

Pat Roberston, who recently stated that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke was God's punishment for his pull-out from Gaza, has been punished by his fellow Christian broadcasters.

“In an interview with the Washington Post, NRB President Frank Wright said that 'there was broad dismay with some of Pat's comments and a feeling they were not helpful to Christian broadcasters in general.' " Source: contactmusic.com

12%of people who work at home work in the nude

“About 39 percent of respondents of both sexes said they wear sweats while working from home, but 12 percent of males and 7 percent of females wear nothing at all, according to a survey of 941 remote and mobile workers worldwide conducted by Insight Express and SonicWALL, a provider of integrated network security and productivity solutions." Source: upi.com

Here's a pretty picture: Rush Limbaugh broadcasts his radio show from his home.

Surgeon General: Obesity threat bigger than terrorism

“America's obesity epidemic will dwarf the threat of terrorism if the country does not reduce the number of people who are severely overweight, Richard Carmona, the US surgeon general, said yesterday. 'Unless we do something about it, the magnitude of the dilemma will dwarf 9/11 or any other terrorist attempt," he said during a lecture at the University of South Carolina.' " Source: theguardian.co.uk

Can we expect to see Dick Cheney talking up links between the Hamburgler and Al-Qaida on Meet the Press?

House recognizes gay marriage, sort of

Rep. Tammy Baldwin (who happens to serve The Progressive's district) listed her partner, Lauren Azar, on an official travel disclosure form and checked the box next to spouse.

“In January Baldwin went on a junket to Israel paid for by the American Israel Education Foundation and Azar accompanied her. The disclosure form asks for the name of the family member traveling with the representative, in this case Azar, and lists three choices in declaring the relationship of the traveling companion; spouse, child or other. Baldwin put an X next to the spouse option. So on a certain level, the U.S. House of Representatives has recognized Baldwin same-sex partner, at least by the rules enforced by the Clerk of House for junketeering members and their spouses." Source: Michael Petrelis

Today's Video: "It's called situational ethics"

Keith Olbermann points out differences in the White House's response to the Plame leak and it's crackdown on the press and the NSA and CIA secret prison leaks. Video at crooksandliars.com

Today's waste of your (employer's) time: The Simpson's Intro

See real actors re-create the Simpson's opening credits. It's sort of like Robert Altman's version of Popeye. Only much shorter and enjoyable. Video here.