March 13, 2002

In October 2000, Bill Flanigan's longtime partner, Robert Daniel, was admitted to the University of Maryland Medical System's Shock Trauma Center in Baltimore. He was suffering complications from AIDS. The men, who resided in California, were on their way to visit Flanigan's sister when Daniel became seriously ill.

When Flanigan asked to see his partner and confer with his doctors, the hospital staff allegedly told him that only family members were allowed to do so, and he was not what they considered family, according to Flanigan.

In California, the two men were signed up with that state's domestic partnership registry. Flanigan also had durable power of attorney that gave him authority to express Daniel's wishes for medical treatment, including Daniel's request not to have any life-sustaining procedures performed.

But neither of these facts allegedly made any difference.

Flanigan was finally allowed to see Daniel once Daniel's mother and other family members arrived, he says. By then, Daniel had a breathing tube inserted, which contravened his wish to not have any life-sustaining procedures, Flanigan charges. His eyes were also taped closed, he says.

Daniel died without having a chance to say goodbye to his partner.

Flanigan has recently launched a lawsuit against the University of Maryland Medical System.

According to the hospital, an initial investigation has not substantiated Flanigan's charges. Ellen Beth Levitt, director of media relations for the University of Maryland Medical System, says the hospital delivers "high-quality, compassionate care to every patient, with sensitivity to the wishes of our patients and their loved ones."

Levitt adds, "According to state law, someone who says he is a guardian or has power of attorney for health care must present documentation of those wishes. Otherwise, we rely on family."

Daniel's own mother has said, "Bill and Bobby were soul mates and one of the best couples I've known. They loved each other, took care of each other, came to family holidays as a couple and Bill still babysits for my grandson. If that isn't family, then something is very wrong."

The state of California also says that they were a family, having been registered as domestic partners. (Vermont also provides recognition of domestic partners, although no other states recognize those states' registries).

The Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO) also says that the two men were a family. The commission defines family as "any person who plays a significant role in a person's life."

The American Medical Association (AMA) has also weighed in on this general issue. In a resolution titled "Parity in Health Care for Domestic Partnerships," the association recognizes that discrimination against same-sex couples in hospital visitation and other health-care matters does exist and that there should be legal recognition of domestic partners for these matters.

Gay and lesbian couples often have to carry around all of their legal documents, such as power of attorney and a living will, so as to have proof of their relationship in the event of an emergency, said David Buckel, the attorney representing Flanigan.

But if a wife were in a car accident, would a hospital ask to see a copy of the marriage license before her husband could consult with doctors? Of course not.

If gay couples had equal rights as heterosexual couples, this incident would not have happened. Flanigan and Daniel were a family and should have been treated as such.

No one should have to worry about being denied the right to see a loved one in his or her final moments of life.

Heather M. Ross is a free-lance writer living in Saskatoon, Canada. She can be reached at pmproj@progressive.org.