November 10, 2006
No offense to the Brits, but in the spirit of Tuesday's election result, it is just too soon to feature Americans in the Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest contest.
DUMB: Mugging an old man is not very nice. Mugging a former boxing champion is just plain dumb. When three thugs attempted to mug 67-year-old George Bayliss, who held an amateur light-middleweight title 40 years ago, they got a surprise. "They weren't up to much as opponents - I've faced much tougher people in the ring. They picked on the wrong man. I'm a southpaw, so I hit the ring leader on the chin with a left hook and all three ran off. It's hard enough for me to make ends meet as it is. There was no way I was going to let them have my pension," Bayliss said.
DUMBER: Paying someone else to take your driver's license test is dumb. Having a drunk driver take the test for you is even dumber. "A serial conman put Britain's road-users at deadly risk by taking over 100 driving tests on behalf of dangerously unqualified drivers - while he himself was banned for drink-driving... between 2003 and 2005 he is thought to have taken an astonishing 110 driving tests, both theory and practical, for other people."
DUMBEST: Fireworks displays can get a bit tedious after a while. But the bored British soldier who used his ass as the backdrop for his own pyrotechnics is today's dumbest. "He dropped his trousers, and slipped a powerful Black Cat Thunderbolt between the cheeks of his backside and a pal set it alight. As the soldier bent over to give his pals a show, the flare-type firework exploded in a shower of blistering hot sparks. Laughing witnesses at the Sunderland event filmed the episode on a video phone not realizing their mate was seriously injured. Yesterday he was still being treated for burns to his nether regions three days after the incident."